linabranter

Shameless self quotation

In one of the rare bursts of unintentional witticism, I recently overheard myself saying to some friends on the subject of the division of labour between a family with two children: I administer the suppositories, he uncorks the wine. Now there you go, a true working relationship if I have ever heard one.

Why I don’t live there anymore

I went for a lightning visit to my hometown (in that it is the town that I have spent the most time in my life in, not the town that I was born in, or the town that I lived in exclusively until I was an adult and could choose for myself) last week toContinue reading “Why I don’t live there anymore”

Birthday Vows!

I recently turned 33 this last Sunday, and if you hail from a christian background, you will note that I have now entered my Jesus year. Not that that means anything, but it does provide a conversation starter as well as a good epicentre for crucifixion jokes. In that spirit, I have decided to giveContinue reading “Birthday Vows!”

Christina and me or how to bring some of the joy back

Watching my daughters these last couple of months with their feverish anticipation of birthdays and other extremely fun activities, I realised that I just don’t look forward to anything anymore. All of a sudden, I am feeling the weight of my 32 years.The awareness that I am indeed,okay, wait for it, an adult ( theContinue reading “Christina and me or how to bring some of the joy back”

I Hate Homework

Once upon a time, there was a mother, young and relatively poor compared to her affluent, older mommy neighbours. She voted for the green party, recycled, and generally tried to be a good example to her children. She dreamed of one day home schooling her two children, as school for her represented the worst sortContinue reading “I Hate Homework”

Fable #2-The sequel

The Smug HusbandAfter losing her wallet, the woman called her husband to tell him that she was stranded and could not pick up the kids from daycare. A short time later the husband stomped down into the children’s department followed by his wife. She was not crying anymore, but the expression on her face wasContinue reading “Fable #2-The sequel”

Library Fable #1

The kids and I recently read a selection of Aesop’s Fables and thought, hmm, what a wonderful way to be deliciously morally superior for a moment and create some witty little moral lessons of my own. Library Fable #1 On a cold February day in Montreal, a young mother made her way to the largeContinue reading “Library Fable #1”

To call in sick or not to call in sick?

It’s official. I have a major case of the February Fuck its. I called in sick today not because I was actually ill, but because I was sick and tired and could not face the world. I got the kids to school, came home and wandered aimlessly around all morning not knowing what to doContinue reading “To call in sick or not to call in sick?”

Why I am a Wire Monkey Mama

This summer, while visiting some friends in Peterborough, I heard the story of the experiment involving baby monkeys. The monkeys were given a choice of a wire monkey that was hooked up to a milk supply and a plush one (I can’t remember if she was attached to a milk supply- hang on, maybe IContinue reading “Why I am a Wire Monkey Mama”

On advertising: Or how the devil shops at IKEA and probably dates Brooke Shields

I only really became susceptible to advertising after the birth of my daughters. Now this new found sensitivity manifested itself in two ways. The first was an obsession with the IKEA catalogue. If only I had the right storage compartments, the perfect sized plastic boxes for all of those oddly shaped toys I would beContinue reading “On advertising: Or how the devil shops at IKEA and probably dates Brooke Shields”