Grief is the Pain from a Phantom Limb

Last week the building where J and I first lived as a couple, our first apartment, suffered a fire. We lived there for two years, from right before our marriage to right after the birth of our daughter. We moved in almost twenty years ago in April. It was a one bedroom in a beautiful,Continue reading “Grief is the Pain from a Phantom Limb”

Midlife Crisis, Part 1: On Freedom and its MidLife Mythology

I have recently experienced my ex-spouse, my friends, the husbands of my friends, essentially many of the men I know who are in their forties (not all of them, of course, but too many to ignore), express a wistfulness, a nostalgia for a fictional freedom. The kind where you don’t have to let your partnerContinue reading “Midlife Crisis, Part 1: On Freedom and its MidLife Mythology”

New Year’s Resolution #1: Boycotting the Monkey Exchange

My motto for this coming year: Not my circus, not my monkeys. There is nothing we humans like more than to surreptitiously gift our monkeys to someone, and taking on other people’s monkeys can become second nature if we don’t watch out. The problem with monkey gifting is that it affects our circus ecosystems. WeContinue reading “New Year’s Resolution #1: Boycotting the Monkey Exchange”

In Honour of Divorce Month: Mid-Life Crisis, an Introduction

We are in the middle of our life. We have kids and teenagers and parents who are getting older. We have jobs. Houses. Responsibilities. It is our generation that is keeping the world running right now, the ones still young and strong enough to bear the brunt of the work and responsibility yet old enoughContinue reading “In Honour of Divorce Month: Mid-Life Crisis, an Introduction”

Hopeful: How to Survive the Collective Malaise

I had the privilege of meeting a woman this year who had been kicked out of her home in Poland after the war by the Russians and sent to Siberia to work. She told me of the horror she experienced there: the harsh winters, the gnawing hunger, the constant fear of the guards. Of sewing secretsContinue reading “Hopeful: How to Survive the Collective Malaise”

Love, Actually: Some mid-life musings

Every holiday season there are a couple of Christmas movies I re-watch with my daughters. One of the girls’ favourites is Love, Actually (I personally prefer Elf, myself.) I know there has been a lot written about this film, and much of it highly and justifiably critical. From the extremely degrading plotline of the highContinue reading “Love, Actually: Some mid-life musings”

A Day in the Life: Stumps

It has been many months since I last posted anything on this blog and as always, the more time goes by without writing, the harder it is to actually get going again.So I used one of WordPress’s daily nudges to get myself started (the first time I’ve used them, but hey. Desperate times call forContinue reading “A Day in the Life: Stumps”

Making Friends with the Anvil: On Bearing Witness

I went to see Monumental by Holy Body Tattoo and Godspeed, You Black Emperor a couple of weeks ago. It was unbearable. Unbearable in the way Art with a capital A should be: a gut-wrenching reminder of the joy and suffering, the struggle and the weariness, the futile resistance and the final giving up, theContinue reading “Making Friends with the Anvil: On Bearing Witness”

I am an Adult but I’m Not a Grown Up

I am an adult. I have kids, a job. I pay bills and do laundry and sign permission forms. If the hot water heater is broken, I have to call the plumber, buy a new one. If there are mice in the house (and ugh, there are indeed mice in my house) I have to figureContinue reading “I am an Adult but I’m Not a Grown Up”