A Hellish Year, Part 4: On Unsustainable Patterns

For many years I had a post-it note above my desk with the words TRY HARDER on it. The letters were in all caps, scratched angrily into its small yellow square. TRY HARDER. TRY HARDER. TRY HARDER. If I didn’t find the time to write during the day: TRY HARDER. If I felt too tired to make aContinue reading “A Hellish Year, Part 4: On Unsustainable Patterns”

A Hellish Year, Part 3: On the Stories We Tell Ourselves

I met a man once who left his wife a few years before I knew him. Now despite being just as broken by his actions as I suspect his poor wife was, he was still searching for answers for why he did what he did. But instead of simply accepting that he made a mistake, thatContinue reading “A Hellish Year, Part 3: On the Stories We Tell Ourselves”

A Hellish Year, Part 2: On Reflections and Not Existing

The most castrating thing  J said to me this last year was, “Lina, you’re a wonderful woman.” Oh, there were things, small cruelties that might on the surface seem worse, especially as most of them were untrue. But the, “Lina , you’re a wonderful woman” comment stung the most. Why, you may ask? That seems likeContinue reading “A Hellish Year, Part 2: On Reflections and Not Existing”

A Hellish Year, Part 1: Shame

This year has been the year of the violent metaphor. When J first announced to me that he “wasn’t sure he wanted to be married anymore” (yes, that is the way he put it), it was a bomb exploding on my lap. No. He was the bomb and I was caught in his blast radius. I haveContinue reading “A Hellish Year, Part 1: Shame”

A Hellish Year: An Introduction

I have been avoiding this blog for months now. Part of it is self-censorship. How can I possibly start talking about what happened without getting too personal or saying too much and hurting my children? (I can’t. Warning: this is going to get personal). Part of it is that the pain and anger and tidal waveContinue reading “A Hellish Year: An Introduction”

Burning down the house: Using Woolf’s Three Guineas as a template for a manifesto against gendered cyberviolence, part I

I attended a symposium about a month ago for stakeholders of a Status of Women grant to brainstorm strategies with which to “eliminate and prevent cyberviolence”. I know. Kind of a herculean task, don’t you think? Might as well ask, how do I prevent war? Oh wait… As those who have been reading my blogContinue reading “Burning down the house: Using Woolf’s Three Guineas as a template for a manifesto against gendered cyberviolence, part I”

On Killing the Angel

First of all, I just want to put this out there: I am in love with Virginia Woolf. Although I had read Mrs. Dalloway (twice) and To the Lighthouse and loved them, I never realised how prolific she was and how fierce and intelligent her essays were. I have recently finished A Room of One’sContinue reading “On Killing the Angel”

Highly Personal Musings Inspired by Rebecca Solnit’s Essay Woolf’s Darkness: Embracing the Inexplicable, Part IV

On the Little Pigeon Hole I created for Myself OR Who Do I think I am? Quote from Solnit’s essay: “Woolf is calling for a more introspective version of the poet Walt Whitman’s “I contain multitudes,” a more diaphanous version of the poet Arthur Rimbaud’s “I is another.” She is calling for circumstances that do notContinue reading “Highly Personal Musings Inspired by Rebecca Solnit’s Essay Woolf’s Darkness: Embracing the Inexplicable, Part IV”

Highly Personal Musings Inspired by Rebecca Solnit’s Essay Woolf’s Darkness: Embracing the Inexplicable, Part III

On My Pathological Need to Know Exactly What is Going to Happen All the Time Quote from Solnit’s essay: “As I began writing this essay, I picked up a book on wilderness survival by Laurence Gonzalez and found in it this telling sentence: “The plan, a memory of the future, tries on reality to seeContinue reading “Highly Personal Musings Inspired by Rebecca Solnit’s Essay Woolf’s Darkness: Embracing the Inexplicable, Part III”

Highly Personal Musings Inspired by Rebecca Solnit’s Essay Woolf’s Darkness: Embracing the Inexplicable, Part II

On the slow closing of my mind OR How I always need to be doing something for fear of the darkness  Quote from Solnit’s essay: “Most people are afraid of the dark. Literally, when it comes to children, while many adults fear, above all, the darkness that is the unknown, the unseeable, the obscure. AndContinue reading “Highly Personal Musings Inspired by Rebecca Solnit’s Essay Woolf’s Darkness: Embracing the Inexplicable, Part II”