Hi. How are you doing? I haven’t posted for a while because honestly, I don’t know what to say. There is a vast empty space where coherent thoughts used to be, a gaping hole in my ability to make sense of the world. It is as if I’ve completed most of the puzzle and canContinue reading “Under Pressure: A Song to Greet 2022”
Tag Archives: Grief
Eulogy
On September 11th we got together to say goodbye to Jeremy. I spoke. This is what I said. The first time I saw Jeremy I was fourteen and he was sixteen and he was skateboarding down the halls of Oak Bay High School flying a Millennium Falcon. The closest way I can describe the feelingContinue reading “Eulogy”
CAST: A Primer on Letting Go, Part 3
The A in CAST stands for Accept. Accept what? Why reality, of course. Imagination is a double-edged sword and is especially dangerous when heartbreak is involved. My wholly unfounded, but deeply held suspicion is that when people are at the peak of rejection they will either start rolling down one of two slopes: revenge orContinue reading “CAST: A Primer on Letting Go, Part 3”
Why I Commemorate the Anniversary of my Husband Leaving Me
Mostly, life is a series of days that resemble each other. We get up, go to work, see friends, watch TV, read a book. If it is a good day, we might go for a hike to a nice vista, travel somewhere new, attend a particularly fun party or enjoy some nice sex. If itContinue reading “Why I Commemorate the Anniversary of my Husband Leaving Me”
On the Loss of Old Dreams
On how the hardest part of divorce is letting go of the dream of happily ever after.
Honouring: An Exploration in Five Parts
I During my morning commute in Montreal, a homeless man regularly stood sentry at the bottom of the escalators in the metro station. Technically I guess he was begging, but he had such a genteel air about him, it felt more like he was graciously inviting us to donate. Whether I had change or not,Continue reading “Honouring: An Exploration in Five Parts”
On the 38th Anniversary of my Father’s Death
Today is the anniversary of my dad’s death. He died at the age of 38 which means he has been dead as long as he was alive. A whole lifetime has gone by and yet somehow it seems like yesterday. That’s grief for you though—it refuses to obey the dictates of time. Here’s a pieceContinue reading “On the 38th Anniversary of my Father’s Death”
You Only Meet Yourself
It is strange how things come into your life when you most need them. I made a friend recently. We met at a social networking event. The room was crowded and noisy and you had to yell to be heard. I was wedged between strangers on a circular bench table. He was on theContinue reading “You Only Meet Yourself”
Grief is the Pain from a Phantom Limb
Last week the building where J and I first lived as a couple, our first apartment, suffered a fire. We lived there for two years, from right before our marriage to right after the birth of our daughter. We moved in almost twenty years ago in April. It was a one bedroom in a beautiful,Continue reading “Grief is the Pain from a Phantom Limb”