On my Toxic Relationship to Time

I was listening to the On Being podcast the other day and I heard a phrase that struck me the way a mallet hits a gong. It was one of the last interviews the poet and philosopher, John O’Donohue, gave before his untimely death in 2008. It is worth listening to and then listening toContinue reading “On my Toxic Relationship to Time”

General Trauma and Get Over Yourself Books: An Annotated Biographical Bibliography

[I started writing this months ago- crap. Just clicked the link- November] I was listening to CBC this morning. The Sunday Edition was airing the second part of an episode on the hundredth anniversary of the Russian Revolution. Michael Enright was talking to Russian-American journalist Masha Gessen about her new book and the lasting effectsContinue reading “General Trauma and Get Over Yourself Books: An Annotated Biographical Bibliography”

SEX:An Annotated Biographical Bibliography

This might come as a shocker, but this post was very hard for me to write. I spent most of my life not even talking about sex, let alone writing about it publicly. So why? Why put myself out there like this? Why admit to all of these wrong-headed notions I lived with since puberty?Continue reading “SEX:An Annotated Biographical Bibliography”

Hell Years: Introduction to an Annotated Bibliography

Reading. Reading is my comfort, my addiction, my solace. For most of my life I have been able to get lost in a book. Get lost in a book. I never really thought about that phrase before, what it means. But I think it is apt, in the sense that I used to read toContinue reading “Hell Years: Introduction to an Annotated Bibliography”

You Only Meet Yourself

  It is strange how things come into your life when you most need them. I made a friend recently.  We met at a social networking event. The room was crowded and noisy and you had to yell to be heard. I was wedged between strangers on a circular bench table. He was on theContinue reading “You Only Meet Yourself”

Grief is the Pain from a Phantom Limb

Last week the building where J and I first lived as a couple, our first apartment, suffered a fire. We lived there for two years, from right before our marriage to right after the birth of our daughter. We moved in almost twenty years ago in April. It was a one bedroom in a beautiful,Continue reading “Grief is the Pain from a Phantom Limb”

Midlife Crisis, Part 1: On Freedom and its MidLife Mythology

I have recently experienced my ex-spouse, my friends, the husbands of my friends, essentially many of the men I know who are in their forties (not all of them, of course, but too many to ignore), express a wistfulness, a nostalgia for a fictional freedom. The kind where you don’t have to let your partnerContinue reading “Midlife Crisis, Part 1: On Freedom and its MidLife Mythology”

In Honour of Divorce Month: Mid-Life Crisis, an Introduction

We are in the middle of our life. We have kids and teenagers and parents who are getting older. We have jobs. Houses. Responsibilities. It is our generation that is keeping the world running right now, the ones still young and strong enough to bear the brunt of the work and responsibility yet old enoughContinue reading “In Honour of Divorce Month: Mid-Life Crisis, an Introduction”

Hopeful: How to Survive the Collective Malaise

I had the privilege of meeting a woman this year who had been kicked out of her home in Poland after the war by the Russians and sent to Siberia to work. She told me of the horror she experienced there: the harsh winters, the gnawing hunger, the constant fear of the guards. Of sewing secretsContinue reading “Hopeful: How to Survive the Collective Malaise”

Love, Actually: Some mid-life musings

Every holiday season there are a couple of Christmas movies I re-watch with my daughters. One of the girls’ favourites is Love, Actually (I personally prefer Elf, myself.) I know there has been a lot written about this film, and much of it highly and justifiably critical. From the extremely degrading plotline of the highContinue reading “Love, Actually: Some mid-life musings”