A Day in the Life: Stumps

It has been many months since I last posted anything on this blog and as always, the more time goes by without writing, the harder it is to actually get going again.So I used one of WordPress’s daily nudges to get myself started (the first time I’ve used them, but hey. Desperate times call forContinue reading “A Day in the Life: Stumps”

Making Friends with the Anvil: On Bearing Witness

I went to see Monumental by Holy Body Tattoo and Godspeed, You Black Emperor a couple of weeks ago. It was unbearable. Unbearable in the way Art with a capital A should be: a gut-wrenching reminder of the joy and suffering, the struggle and the weariness, the futile resistance and the final giving up, theContinue reading “Making Friends with the Anvil: On Bearing Witness”

I am an Adult but I’m Not a Grown Up

I am an adult. I have kids, a job. I pay bills and do laundry and sign permission forms. If the hot water heater is broken, I have to call the plumber, buy a new one. If there are mice in the house (and ugh, there are indeed mice in my house) I have to figureContinue reading “I am an Adult but I’m Not a Grown Up”

A Hellish Year, Part 4: On Unsustainable Patterns

For many years I had a post-it note above my desk with the words TRY HARDER on it. The letters were in all caps, scratched angrily into its small yellow square. TRY HARDER. TRY HARDER. TRY HARDER. If I didn’t find the time to write during the day: TRY HARDER. If I felt too tired to make aContinue reading “A Hellish Year, Part 4: On Unsustainable Patterns”

A Hellish Year, Part 3: On the Stories We Tell Ourselves

I met a man once who left his wife a few years before I knew him. Now despite being just as broken by his actions as I suspect his poor wife was, he was still searching for answers for why he did what he did. But instead of simply accepting that he made a mistake, thatContinue reading “A Hellish Year, Part 3: On the Stories We Tell Ourselves”

A Hellish Year, Part 2: On Reflections and Not Existing

The most castrating thing  J said to me this last year was, “Lina, you’re a wonderful woman.” Oh, there were things, small cruelties that might on the surface seem worse, especially as most of them were untrue. But the, “Lina , you’re a wonderful woman” comment stung the most. Why, you may ask? That seems likeContinue reading “A Hellish Year, Part 2: On Reflections and Not Existing”

A Hellish Year, Part 1: Shame

This year has been the year of the violent metaphor. When J first announced to me that he “wasn’t sure he wanted to be married anymore” (yes, that is the way he put it), it was a bomb exploding on my lap. No. He was the bomb and I was caught in his blast radius. I haveContinue reading “A Hellish Year, Part 1: Shame”

A Hellish Year: An Introduction

I have been avoiding this blog for months now. Part of it is self-censorship. How can I possibly start talking about what happened without getting too personal or saying too much and hurting my children? (I can’t. Warning: this is going to get personal). Part of it is that the pain and anger and tidal waveContinue reading “A Hellish Year: An Introduction”

Burning down the house: Using Woolf’s Three Guineas as a template for a manifesto against gendered cyberviolence, part I

I attended a symposium about a month ago for stakeholders of a Status of Women grant to brainstorm strategies with which to “eliminate and prevent cyberviolence”. I know. Kind of a herculean task, don’t you think? Might as well ask, how do I prevent war? Oh wait… As those who have been reading my blogContinue reading “Burning down the house: Using Woolf’s Three Guineas as a template for a manifesto against gendered cyberviolence, part I”