3 things that causes petulance

And yes, it sort of feels like gas, but a lot more bilious.

#1: Fashion these days

Some years fashion and I just don’t get along. Usually, this just means that I shake my head at all the craziness and go my merry way. However this year, I have (gasp) been witness to the criminal presence of shiny, metallic leggings worn as pants in the style of Olivia Newton John at the end of Grease when she gets all skanky, and, (double gasp) numerous sightings of the unforgivable, notorious stirrup pants. I want to take these girls aside and tell them not to worry, we all make poor choices at some point in our life and no, it is not just them. NO ONE looks good in stirrup pants.

As a precaution I have drummed into my children’s heads that leggings are perfectly acceptable and comfortable apparel if WORN UNDER A SKIRT!!!!! or a dress or a long shirt. Just no more camel toe or muffin top or scenic view of the butt canyon please.

Phew. I really needed to get that off my chest.

#2 Parents that do their children’s homework
Stop. Take a look at what you are doing. If you are standing in front of a librarian with your 14 year old holding HIS project instructions and doing all the talking, then something is wrong. It is okay. We are all guilty of wanting to micromanage our children’s lives, to hold their hand through the difficult moments in life. However, I don’t think the Dewey Decimal System qualifies as traumatic. First of all, let your kid decide what the project is going to be about. Then let them ask for help.

Second scenario: If your child hasn’t even received the project yet, in fact is still in school but you just heard about it from another parent, don’t start his research for him. Don’t come in to the library with a panicked sense of needing to get a head of the game and waste the librarian’s time on fruitless research of various topics you think your kid might be interested in. Part of doing the project is finding the information people! Don’t think you are helping your child by doing this part for them. This is how you end up needing a library card to the university library so that you can provide her with her research when she is doing her PHD.

I am feeling lighter already!

#3 People getting fined for stupid things like not holding the escalator handrail

Honestly. Hell in a handbasket, people. Hell in a handbasket. Once again, a woman sacrifices her dignity and 420$ to the mythological god of safety.

Okay. That’s all the ranting I got for today. Now go do something productive, like put a skirt over your leggings, or prod your child into doing his own work, or get arrested for stepping on the cracks on the sidewalk.

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