Adulthood- what is it good for?

How do people do it? How do they manage to be so efficient and productive and… and… functional? What is the secret to being an adult?Is it closely guarded? Did I miss the initiation rite? Why can’t I cope with this world?
These are questions I ask myself often. It is like the adult ship was sailing and I missed the boat.
Here are some examples:
A) I have had 2 mortgages and have yet to be able to give you a working definition of the word “amortization.”
B) The 2 mortgages I’ve had have been financed by my mother.
C) I have a harder time than my children going to school. THEIR school. I hate school more than they do.
D) I made a five year plan, stuck to it and came out of it realising that it was completely flawed. Contrary to my previously held opinion, it is not possible to feed, shelter and clothe a family of four on the salary of a librarian. Thank god my mother is my landlord and she doesn’t mind us skipping a few months rent…
E)This going to the same place everyday thing- what is up with that? I am looking down the barrel of 40 hours a week of not being paid enough for the next 35 years. There has to be a better way- if you know about it please tell me. I beg you.
F)Present decision to make- do I go to a job interview for a job that is more in line with what I want to do, pays a little more yet happens to be located in the suburbs, at least an hour and a half commute away from where I live? I even know the answer to this one before I even make up my mind and it probably won’t be the smart thing to do.
G) What do I really want to do? I want to write stuff where children have horrid parents (if they have parents at all) and get into a bunch of nasty adventures where they are almost killed but are able to get away just in time by using their wits. There is definitely not enough dragon riding in the mail we receive from the bank.

So there. Adulthood is way beyond my reach. I rest my case.

2 thoughts on “Adulthood- what is it good for?

  1. Rob a bank.You must rob a bank to get ahead.I’ll help, but you will also need spy monkeys to assure my participation. Also I would like pie. Blueberry pie.

  2. If you ever do figure out this thing called adulthood, let me know. I still have not got a handle on it.My solution – run away to some tropical place where you can live on $500 a month. that’s my dream anyway.Living in a big city is expensive. No getting away from that. I am told I spend too much time dwelling on things I have no control over. I’m told that instead of always asking “why”, I should ask “What can I do about it?”. If nothing, drop the thought. If something, do it. Simplified, I know, but it helps me sometimes.

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