Today’s accomplishments

1. Made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies without once tasting the batter.

Now this might not seem much for you fine folk out there who would never deign to taste the batter. Perhaps you are very responsible and are afraid of eating raw eggs. Perhaps you simply prefer the cookie to the batter and can forego the gooey pleasure with ease. Or perhaps you possess superhuman willpower and will only accept measurable quantities (preferably measured in calories) to breech the gap between your lips (I am talking about your mouth your dirty son of a …..) But for me, who prefers the cookie dough to the cookie and, if given the choice between an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough bowl and an evening with Mr. Brad Pitt would have to give my final decision serious consideration, this is no mean feat. So yay for me.

2.Watched my daughters paintings go from sunny spring landscapes populated with butterflies to a whole series of vampire girls without even trying to influence them.

My work is done, here.

3. Swam a kilometer.

Now this used to be no big deal for me. I used to swim all the time and was pretty good at it ( meaning I seldom have to make use of the lifeguard’s services). But it has been literally years since I have gone to a pool without my children and it was amazing! I hurt all over! Swimming is hard! Not only that, I had a lane to myself! Now if only I could find the time to get me some goggles- the chlorine is killer on the eyes.

4. Taught my daughter about class structure by using the example of the Titanic.
In brief:
Rich people=selfish, bloated ingrates who screw the little people in order to save themselves.
Steerage= Us, the screwed. If we had been on the Titanic we would have been up the proverbial creek ’cause the Rockerfeller stole our paddle.

Yep. All in a day’s work. The world sure does owe me a livin’….

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