Points of interest:
1) Notice that both children are still alive with no visible scarring.
2) Please remark on the relative cleanliness of the house. As you can see, when forced, I am still able to do the dishes.
3) Did I mention that the children are still alive?
4) There is a new garbage bag in the garbage can. How did it get there? Well, I replaced the old one, thank you very much. Yes sir, I can take the garbage out too (but it is better when you do it.)
5) Child number two is having a hissee fit at the moment. You will soon be home and can deal with it. But she’s still alive…
6) The turtle’s tank needs cleaning.
7) Yes, I am in the middle of the first season of Buffy the vampire slayer and yes, I am going to make you watch the rest with me.
That’s all.
Oh yeah. We missed you. Can you feel the love?
Lina Branter 
Yay Buffy! I don’t have 1, but I can lend you some of the later seasons… Good times. And congrats on the unmarred children!