A list of things NOT to let your children do

Yesterday was officially negligent parent day at the library. Now, I am pretty relaxed kind of mama (that is, if I don’t need to be somewhere). You know, of the laissez-faire school of parenting. But there are certain things that I stamp my foot down, certain basic rules I thought all parents followed. Oh, how I was wrong. So here is my list of very basic rules for parents in the library that will keep their children not impaled and the hardware safe (these rules can be applied anywhere):

1)Do not let your one and a half year old suck on lollipops.
1)a) But if you do, don’t let them run around with them in their mouth.
1)a)i) But if you must, DON’T do it in my library!!!!

2) The online catalogue terminals are not jungle gyms for the infant set! I really did not think I had to lay this one out, but apparently, it needs to be said.

3) Please, please,please, do not use the library as the location for the re-enactment of a medieval battle. Running around with scythe-like swords is not what we had in mind when we encouraged letting your imagination run amok. Not that I am against medieval battle re-enactments, but the society of creative anachronisms seems to meet on the mountain every weekend. SO PLEASE LEAVE YOUR WEAPONS AT THE DOOR.

4) Please don’t let your kids run around shrieking at the top of their lungs. Please? Please? and when the nice librarian tells them to stop, because you just sit there like some sort of dazed eggplant, don’t look at her like she is something you just scraped off of your shoe. Really.

5) Please read the signs. When we say emergency exit, we mean it.

That’s it. I am done. Please people. Look alive, for the love of pete!

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