Okay. When did I sign away all my good karma? What the hell did I do that was sooo bad I deserved the plague of lice and pinworms that have infested my house? What is with all the bugs? Because they are back and they brought friends.
So here has been our week, a portrait in catching parasites:
Saturday: We go to the zoo. J gets bitten by something at the back of his knees and on his calves. The bites swell. He is going to the doctor now to see if he has to be in quarantine.
Monday: J again. This time he is innocently riding his bike to the studio which requires going through two underpasses. Right as he is emerging from the second, he feels a wire around his neck and it is beginning to pull. Yes, people,he gets clotheslined by a loose wire just hanging loose from a scaffolding located just above the sidewalk. He stopped in time before it caused him a major crash where he could have fallen into the road below, but not before he received a long cut around his neck. It is of course located in one of the neck’s creases, so is not healing as fast as it should.
Tuesday: Pinworms! Oldest daughter can’t get to sleep because the white little pin shape party parasites are whooping it up in her anus. The fun never stops.
Wednesday: Laundry, laundry, laundry,laundry…
Thursday: Nephew leaves. We shaved his head, dewormed him, but who knows what he’s brought with him. Sister, I tried my best, I swear.
And then I checked my daughter’s hair last night and found more lice!!!! Whoohooo! They are back and now I am mad. It is time to open a can of whoop ass on the mofos. To go medieval, rambo style. Just give me a razor and a can of kerosene and I swear they won’t be coming back… (just kidding- but I can dream, can’t I?)
Today: Didn’t even pretend to be sick. Just said one word. Lice. Will spend the day doing more laundry and picking nits out of my kids head as well as getting my head checked because now I am itchy all over. And the last time proved it wasn’t just psycho sematic.
So back to the original question- How can I replenish my Karmic credit? Is their a plan? Can I consolidate all my good deeds and use them now?