Just gimme a pill or why I suck at preventive medicine

Confession. Now I know that this little posting will be sacrilege in the ears of my naturopath sister, so if you are reading this sister, I would advise you to look elsewhere. For the sake of our continuing good relationship, avert your eyes and quickly. There. Now that she is no longer looking, I can confess that I am not very endowed at taking care of myself. Why? I can’t be bothered. I hate having to pay money for vitamins and supplements. Plus, I always forget to take them. When I am sick, I just want a pill to make me better. I don’t want to practice hydrotherapy, or submit to the unpleasantness of the “cold socks” treatment (in case you are not familiar with this naturopathic procedure, it consists of soaking a pair of cotton socks in feezing cold water, putting them on with a pair of wool socks over top of them and going to bed with as many blankets on as possible. It is suppose to draw the fever out. Effective but unpleasant. I would rather just not.)I don’t even want to soak my feet.
In fact, I even have problems with daily maintenance. I regularly curse the growth of my nails because then I have to take the time to cut them. I demand a haircut that requires absolutely no maintenance so I don’t have to waste time brushing it. I don’t iron my clothes anymore and tend to wear the same thing as long as possible or until personal hygiene might be compromised. When confronted with physical pain, I just want a pill to make it better. Sad to say, but I am not willing to invest the time in anything that requires more than a small round gelatin cap and a half a glass of water. Sorry sister. If a relatively healthy diet can’t fix it, just gimme a pill. Now if only they could come up with a pill to cure laziness…

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3 Responses to Just gimme a pill or why I suck at preventive medicine

  1. french panic says:

    I heard from medical doctors that taking vitamins is kind of silly – if you are eating right, you should have no need for vitamin supplements.Also, this ice cold fever foot wrapping thing – you say it’s effective? According to…..? Not to mess with your naturopath sister, who is not reading this anyway since you told her not to and I’m sure she always listens to her big sister, but it sounds like hogwash. Give me some double blind studies that prove it “cures” fever, and maybe I will believe.And there IS a pill cure for laziness. It’s called dexadrine. I hear some of the street kids call it speed. It’s really awesome for getting things done. I give it 2 thumbs up.

  2. french panic says:

    p.s. the dexadrine will also help you lose weight because you’ll be so busy doing things that you won’t have time to eat. Plus, the dex will change your brain chemistry! hurray!

  3. Pamplemousse says:

    Don’t feed dexadrine to dogs.It isn’t good for them.

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